She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
