I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Is Oprah even human
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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