I accidentally had phone sex last night
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
