i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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