Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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