South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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