So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she smelled like a LAN party
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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