I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
