So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
being pregnant is like rehab
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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