North Korea, Best Korea!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
