I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
