oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize