if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
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so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
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Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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