Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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