4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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