Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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