I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
