I can tuck mytits in my pants
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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