walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
A bitchslap is in order.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
