I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You may now shotgun with the bride
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
