yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
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I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
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She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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