At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
