I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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