wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize