tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
