Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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