it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Welp...herpes.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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