Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
