dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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