a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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