Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
