So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
