You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
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Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
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I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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