just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
