he wants to bone in the snuggie
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
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We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
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I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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