the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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