Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
