someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
