So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just high enough for therapy.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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