so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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