with your own penis?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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