i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
