Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Randomize
