sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
