Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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