I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.