i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs