Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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