the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
