Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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