You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other