Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".

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  (678): He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird". http://tfl.nu/qpoq
  Replies (70) Good night (1705) Bad night (4470)
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  (925): View more from California

  anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.

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  (925): anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend. http://tfl.nu/wrr6
  Replies (21) Good night (5402) Bad night (1040)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college

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  (847): A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college http://tfl.nu/uf6j
  Replies (37) Good night (5481) Bad night (710)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"

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  (513): there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends" http://tfl.nu/u7q7
  Replies (27) Good night (6326) Bad night (1040)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny

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  (304): As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny http://tfl.nu/vl4i
  Replies (15) Good night (4243) Bad night (1185)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.

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  (832): I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice. http://tfl.nu/6cq1
  Replies (9) Good night (1919) Bad night (7147)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.

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  (248): Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch. http://tfl.nu/snc7
  Replies (10) Good night (4863) Bad night (1322)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face

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  (662): It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face http://tfl.nu/qofd
  Replies (9) Good night (2162) Bad night (1446)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back

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  (847): Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back http://tfl.nu/ffo4
  Replies (6) Good night (1349) Bad night (1111)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.

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  (425): ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture. http://tfl.nu/ky0p
  Replies (4) Good night (2277) Bad night (715)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.

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  (641): I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich. http://tfl.nu/1t3s
  Replies (5) Good night (1099) Bad night (765)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.

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  (936): Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life. http://tfl.nu/qbmn
  Replies (6) Good night (777) Bad night (670)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?

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  (585): Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning? http://tfl.nu/f296
  Replies (4) Good night (932) Bad night (394)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.

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  (732): I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere. http://tfl.nu/0401
  Replies (2) Good night (848) Bad night (219)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here

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  (308): No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here http://tfl.nu/jrmv
  Replies (1) Good night (323) Bad night (166)

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