My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
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do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
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Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine