I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.