I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
third nipple confirmed
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
