there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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