every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
