i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize