Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
