woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
