Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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