we're blogging at a bar
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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